Moons, Suns, Glory, Beauty

I skipped the salsa social night last night to attend a special vespers/youth meeting given by all 3 NZ clergy. Basically topic was on being the “light of the world” this topic, in combination with a recent comment I made on a friend’s photo of the moon and reading snippets from John Elderedge’s books “captivating” and “the sacred romance” had be thinking about Beauty and Reflected Glory.
The following is a random collection of these thoughts

I love that in most eastern cultures refer to beautiful women as the moon, it fits in so well with where a person’s true beauty lies. The moon in and of itself is dark, barren, incapable of providing any light in and of itself, it has no inherent beauty, but it is designed to be not only beautiful but breathtakingly glorious in its beauty. The moon reflects the power and the glory of the sun, allowing everyone who could never look directly at the sun to bask in its light. It is through the sun’s light that the moon is given its beauty. I found it interesting that when the world (earth) gets between the moon and the sun you get a lunar eclipse, the beauty of the moon is darkened.

Looking at my friends picture it struck me how much I love looking at full moon, how much I long to reveal that measure of beauty. Isn’t that ultimately what all girls look for, to be thought of as beautiful, perfect, without blemish?? Isn’t that why the cosmetics industry is so successful?? And isn’t that what God provides? He takes us, who after the fall are barren, whose beauty is marred, disfigured by sin (notice that the surface of the moon is not smooth, but full of craters, scarred but it’s barrenness) and through his light gives us beauty, brings out our essence, what we were created for, to SHINE, to have the world stop in awe of the beauty we are given through reflecting the glory of God. He takes us, who like Cinderella were covered in the filth and muck of cinders and ashes, a result of a life led serving evil, a life in bondage to evil (they weren’t the evil step sisters for nothing)and offers us a different life, presents us to himself, glorious, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Eph 5:27,

Ezekiel 16 explains it perfectly On the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born.And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare. “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord GOD. “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord GOD.

My beauty can only come through being bestowed, isn’t that what every female jumping from relationship to relationship is after, someone to bestow her beauty to her? To make her feel desired, to feel like royalty? To bad we all go on to do what the woman in this passage does (read the rest of Ezekiel 16 to understand)

I’m going to continue looking at the moon, hoping that my Beloved bestows the same glorious beauty to me that my reflection of his glory fits his description of “my love my dove my perfect one” that on the wedding feast of the lamb my beauty may be “perfect through His splendor” that my adornments that he adorns me with are still intact that my clothing of fine silk and embroidered cloth (reminds me of my saris) have not been dirtied and stained. That I haven’t let the world come between me and the Sun of Righteousness so that like the lunar eclipse I am darkened and invisible, but rather that I have turned my face completely to him that I may be like the full moon, bathed in His light and captivatingly beautiful.

For anyone reading this the books to read are “captivating”, “sacred romance” by john elderedge. And the books of the bible “jer 2, ezk 16, hos 2 and of course song of Solomon.

Here’s the picture my friend took BTW (posted with permission)

Belonging, Trust, Following, Personal Space and dips!

So i had a salsa class the other night, the last one of beginners 1 (beginners 2 starts next week) and almost as an add-on the instructor decided to teach us a dip.
Yours truly of course has major trust issues and even bigger personal space issues. This reminded me too much of those silly trust games you do in high school where you fall back and the person has to catch you, I couldn't do those games and always stepped back rather then fall. It also required too much of an invasion of personal space to be done correctly. The two combined meant that every time we tried a dip (regardless of which partner I was dancing with) I stiffened, pulled back, stepped back and rather then dip straight I ended up arching my back meaning it was awkward for the guy, painful for my back and generally a disaster to watch. I got home and proceeded to get my brother to try dipping me, and voila!! It actually worked! Got me thinking that perhaps I need to trust someone implicitly in order to allow them into my personal space. Wondered a lot about my refusing to let God get into "my personal space" to work on the things that I refuse to let go of, such old wounds, hurts, favorite sins, my hard outer shell that I put in to so much effort to maintain so that I can alienate all those that attempt to penetrate it. I wonder if I’m refusing him access to this personal space because I don't trust him, because I don't know him. The guys in the class said that the dips will get easier as I get to know the classmates as I trust them more.......I wonder if my lack of faith is due to my not knowing HIM well enough that I haven’t spent enough time “dancing” with him to trust him to lead, to know his intentions are good to really believe that the plans he had for me are “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to bring me a hope and a future” *sigh*…………kind of fits really well with him saying to me “oh ye of little faith why did you doubt” I kind of feel Him saying that every time things work out for the best despite me stepping back, stiffening resisting arching my back and causing myself much un-required pain, when He says it he’s laughing telling me to trust. I’m kind of afraid that one day He’ll say it when it’s too late with tears in his eyes.
Friday night was a weekly social night, had a blast dancing the night away, amazed at the difference it makes when the guy knows how to lead well and knows what he’s doing makes, it really made me feel like I was dancing……I’ve spoken before about leadership so I’m not going to do it again
Had a really interesting discussion with one of my registrars about belonging though, he’s from Zimbabwe and was saying that the worst thing that could happen to him was for him to die outside his homeland, he wanted to go with “African soil in his hands”, his attachment to a country/continent really captivated me as I’ve never felt even remotely attached to any place. He said that one has to have a sense of “belonging” somewhere, that it should apply to a place, he said that surely I feel like that about Melbourne, I said I felt Melbourne was home cause that’s where my family and friends were, but if they were on the moon I’d feel attached to the moon. I wonder if as Christians we’re meant to feel that kind of attachment to our heavenly kingdom that despite being miles away we still yearn for it, still feel it flowing in our blood, like this guy described Africa flowing in his blood. It was a really enlightening discussion

Fri night was the Ash Cash Bash for the doctors………anyone who is under the impression that they are a respectable bunch is encouraged to attend these functions, I stuck my head in after salsa just to say hi so I wasn’t completely anti-social, by that stage everyone was totally drunk, the couple of girls I knew proceeded to stumble over and proclaim my presence at the top of their lungs, the place was loud, so you needed to lean in to hear anyone, at the risk of them falling all over you, it was dark and everyone was in costume so you could barely recognize anyone. I left pretty quickly wondering what the point of it all was. Was the only way these people could connect with one another on any significant level was to get so drunk as to be come totally disinhibited? I became so glad for my friends who aren’t like that, who know how to connect with each other without alcohol. The whole thing was so bizarre to me despite having seen it before. Anyways live and learn

Salsa, Dance, Life and eternity

So i finally got organised enough to get to my first salsa class here in NZ. I've had to take beginners class again as i was doing Cuban salsa and they only offer linear salsa here. So after a long day at work and despite not feeling like it I hopped on a bus hoping desperately it was the right one and after riding it to the end of the line cause i missed the stop i eventually got there (on time too!!). I had an absolute blast.



On the way back i got to thinking about why i enjoy my dance classes so much, whilst the rush after any exercise is a thrill (when i finally get myself to do ANY exercise) dancing has always held me captive. i think it's got a lot to do with how i view life to be honest.



Leadership and submission - the instructor pleaded with the girls to let the guys lead, and to TRY to follow (he said it's the only hour in the week that the guys get to lead LOL) not to fight the person leading cause then the scene is just jarring and clashes. Immediately made me think of how often I fight against God as he tries to lead me through this dance of life, how he can hear the music and the beat that I'm meant to be dancing to where as i can't (not a far stretch as i can barely make out the beat/count in dance class anyways) how God tries to get me to dance to this beat that he can make out and how often I fight it, the result being a jarring mess totally out of tune to the music and horrific to everyone involved and everyone watching. Thought on the way home how life is a dance class, a preparation for the final dance between the bride and bridegroom at the wedding feast of the lamb. The dance won't be a choreographed dance, practiced infinitely to perfection rather it will be a spontaneous expression of joy and love, led by the bridegroom and will only work and be an expression of beauty if the bride has learnt to respond to his lead.

The instructor also told the males HOW to lead, gently but firmly with enough pressure to let the girl know which way to go yet not so firm that she feels like she's forced......an amazing analogy as well about Christ, his gentle firmness, how He guides so softly "still small voice" "stand at the door and knock" just enough to let me know where to go, but never so harsh as to force me to follow.....even if when i don't it results in disaster. The instructor stressed the fact that the leader needed to protect the girl so she doesn't feel like she's going to smash into the wall or another couple on the floor. Again.......God's guidance and protection as I dance my way through life trying to follow the lead of He who knows the tune, how the dance even though he is leading is for my joy, the freedom, safety and excitement in submission to He who defined servant/leadership, who knows that He leads me to joy, knows how to lead gently.



And as always the class showed me how UN prepared i am to allow anyone (unfortunately that sometimes includes God) lead! Unless practicing a specific routine which i knew, i was CONSTANTLY going against the guys lead, ending in YES a jarring mess. ironically nothing irritated me more then the guys that either were too harsh or to soft in their leadership, with the former i was tempted to just leave and the latter to tell him to pull it together! *sigh* I'll get there eventually..............but in the mean time I'm again aware of my need to practice my submission to my Beloved.



For those that are going to comment about how this may/may not apply to marriage, yes the thought briefly crossed my mind about following the lead of someone in tune with the true musician's beat.............but with how much trouble I'm having submitting to the only perfect person, the one i can be certain knows what's best, i don't like my chances of submitting my will to a flawed human just yet.



anyways, i had a BLAST at dance class and can't wait for the next one, i might even join them for the social get together they have on Thurs and Fri when I'm on my own.

Who Am I

Figure i should start my first blog by introducing myself.
Who am I?? well I've yet to figure that out in its entirety but I'll fill you in on a few characteristics which you may/may not find contradictory
I'm female
I'm 26yo
I'm Egyptian (by birth)
I'm Coptic (i.e native Egyptian, the ACTUAL Egyptians, predominately christian who were the natives of Egypt before the Islamic invasion)
I'm Australian (by citizenship) and due to the fact that I've lived there since i was 6I'm Currently living in New Zealand (for the next 18months)
I'm a Christian (Orthodox) - Coptic orthodox if you want to be technical about it
I'm a Doctor- and Emergency medicine trainee (I generally love my job and still have dreams to help in medical mission in a 3rd world setting)
My family consists of Myself and my brother who are in NZ, my mother in Australia. My father passed away last year in Oct.
My hobbies are fairly diverse (but being a little impatient i haven't stuck with much to be any good at it) they include -
reading -fantasy! - Robin Hobb, David Eddings, Raymond E Fiest. etc
Religion - C.S. Lewis, Anthony Conairis, Elisabeth elliot, The early Church Fathers, etc.
Cross stitching
All of Joss Whedon's creations (Buffy, Angel, Firefly & serenity, Dr Horrible) -and soon Dollhouse
Dancing - Did Salsa for a while which i loved but then stopped (would love to resume, maybe try some new style)

I guess that's all about my surface details. Not a way to REALLY know a person despite how many people think it is.

just for the record my name is Sarah (it was the name given to me by my mothers confession father before i was born).
i said on a friends Blog that I'd explain why i loved the name April - so here goes
my birthday is in April (April fools actually)
I grew up watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and i always wanted to be like April - she was soo cool!
April_fool has always been my ID for just about everything and a lot of positive reinforcement via online chats came to me through the name April (power of positive reinforcement huh?)
anyways that's my bit for today.